ahh.. a very peacefull starry night…
bringing back that moment of truth once again into my head….

she and i decided to go to our secret place
she didn’t say anything while we were going there
of coursde, neither did i…
and then the silence was broken by a soft voice.

“i’ve read those writings…
after reading them…
i understood your need to lean on people to cheer you up.
i started to understand your fear…
and…
i understood your perceptions on me”

and that’s how she started to make me feel almost so hard to breath again.
when she slowly turn her face towrd me.
looking straight into my face,
while i don’t even have the strenght to raise my head toward her.

” i was happy”

she smiled at me while saying those words.
suddenly i feel an urge of strenght from inside of me,
as if i fon’t believe what i’ve heard…

“yes?!”

and then she said

“for you to think about me in such a way,
i was so happy!”

i can’t say a words..
all i can see is her face now..
as the time stands still and our surounding went fading away.

“so.. now i came to formally listen to what is in your heart…”

she walked slowly toward me with a short pace..
an elegant way of walking if i might say…
my heart was pounding hard..
i’m trembling all over me.
my hands grasping not to let my soul to explode…
i’m afraid…
i never be this close to a woman before

“can you… tell me ?”

honestly, i didn’t know how to say it,
i didn’t know where to start.
all of those were new to me…

in my shivering, i said “yes”
i guess this is it, my moment of truth,
a time to confess my feeling.
occasionally i have to do it someday.
that was what i think at that time.

the silence continued for a while
i couldn’t say a word because i was so nervous

“I.I.I..I have something to say”

“yes.”

she replied to me with an angel voice
my grasp were getting tighter…
my breath were heavier…

“everything was shining when i was with you
until now, my good time,
the scene of the town that never changed
and being so wretched myself…
everything… magically…
all started to shine.
because you was, to me, the light of my life
from you, i have recieved so many precious things…”

as if a knife pierced through my heart…
i barely can’t get a hol dof my self again…
i look another way to ease a bit of my fear…

“but, i….. didn’t have anything…
couldn’t do anything for you…
but, but..!
my heart cares for you, compared to anyone’s..
compared to anyones’ there can be noone.
I… I…”

tears started to wet my eyes and flows trough the side of my face.
when i turn to look at her again, i feel that i can conquer the world,
but the fact that i can’t even say those words frustated me…

she toke my hands and hold them in her care..

“You can do it”

i nod.. i will keep fighting till i can say those words for someone that’s dear to me.

“I… I like you… !”

the world went black as it it in void….
i’m freezed.. can’t hold my self, it’s so relieved yet so empty…
but those are only till she said…

“i also like you..”

i don’t know what to say…
i can only cry….

and then she continued..

“so… even from now on…
will you always be with me?”

“yes!”…
those precious moment…
my world started to exploded with excitement…
colours everywhere…
so warm, and so crowded…

“thank you.. always… be with me”

she nod and said “yes”

“sorry, i’m trully like you”

she let go of my hand…
using her both soft, warm, and gentle hands she hold my face andraise myhead toward her…

“sorry..
i never had the courage to get close or near a women before…”

and then i saw tears on her face..

“i started crying with you…”

but then she smile, and come even closer to me…

“after saying i like you…
i like you even more…”

she said those while she put her hands on my shoulder
as if she were about to hold me and never let go

the air filled with tears…
spring has come to both of us…
all of my insecure feelings…
an dthe life from taht moment,
they were all for trhe happiness with her!

thinking about it now made me cry too

===================================

sayang ini cuman tulisan fiksi TT_TT jadi ingat kurang lebih 4 tahun lalu, putus menjelang val day . . .